Tawa naman dyan…

 
natatawa ako hi hi hi hi...
natatawa ako hi hi hi hi...

 

Sa kalagitnaan ng wentuhan namin ni lablayp at paghalukay ng mahahanap ng kung anu sa internet, meron akong nadaanang forum kung saan ang thread ay patungkol sa mga business names, jeepneys at bus signs na “Onli in da Pilipins” lang.

 

SIGNS

Anita Bakery (as opposed to Anita Baker)

Bote Nga Sa’Yo (Used Bottle Shop)

Cinna Von (a laundromat)

Cleopata’s (bakahan and manukan)

Cooking ng ina mo (home cooking)

Cooking ng ina mo rin (right across Cooking ng ina mo)

Crispy per minute (Crispy Pata Eatery)

Curl Up And Dye (Beauty Salon)

Doris Day and Night (24 hour eatery)

Elizabeth Tailoring

Fagoofyt (children’s hair salon)

Felix the Cut (Barber Shop)

Goldirocks (Gravel & Sand Shop)

Happy Birthday Toyo (a soy sauce brand in the 70’s)

Holland Hopia (owned by Mr. Ho; next door is…)

Poland Hopia (owned by Mr. Po)

Leon King (Video Rental)

Let’s Goat-Together (kambingan cum beer garden)

Petal Attraction (flower shop)

Maid To Order (Maids Placement Agency)

Mang Donald’s (burger joint)

Meating Place (Meat Shop)

Meatropolis (meat shop)

Miki Mao (noodle eatery)

Susan’s Roses (flower shop)

Sylvestre’s Salon

TapSi TurBi (Tapa, Sinangag, Turon at Bibingka)

The Fried of Marikina (fried chicken shop)

The Way We Wear (Boutique)

Wash Up Doc? (Laundromat)

Wrap and Roll (lumpia outlet)

Gloribee Eatery (Si Aling Glori ang may-ari)

Master Bakers (and their slogan) “We don’t just bake, We Master Bake!”

 

JEEPNEY and BUS SIGNS

» Before pay, tell where get the on before get the off
» Full string to stop driver
» For reckless driving, call ########
» God knows Hudas not pay
» God knows Hudas does not pay
» Don’t get closed to me, get closed to God
» Don’t close to me, close to God

OTHER SIGNS

“Wanted: Boy Waitress”

“HEALTHY THE FEET, HEALTHY THE BODY.” (Foot massage ad)

“Affordable, Clean & Convenience” (A motel ad, I think)

“Please help our comfort room clean.”

“We Make Modern and Antique Furniture”

“NOT FOR HERE”

“Danger Wall Is Falling”

“Marunong ka bang KUMAHOL? Aso lang ang umiihi dito.”

“SLOW MEN AT WORK”

“Welcome to the Philippines – The Only Catholic Country in Asia!”

(underneath this sign) “BEWARE OF PICKPOCKETS”

“Fresh Frozen Chicken Sold Here”

“No Parking and Repair Here” (from an auto repair shop)

“No Crossing Pedestrians will be apprehended”

“Sorry for the inconvenient. Your taxes is working for you.”

“Temporary Close”

“No ID Nothing Entry”

“we hab sopdrink in can and in batol” (from a carinderia)3

“We repair electric fun”

“DON’T PARKING”

“NO URINATING, on the over WALLS”

“2nd Floor Upstairs”

At indi pa po natatapos dyan mga prends. Meron din akong ipapamahagi sa inyo na listahan ng mga quotes galing kay Madame Malaprop herself, ang former Miss International na si Miss Melanie Marquez. Ni-compile ko na lahat(na ba ‘to?) ng quotes niya para sa inyo. Mag-ready na ng mansanilya dahil kakabagin talaga kayo sa mga ito.

I coudn’t care a damn!

What’s your next class before this?

Can you repeat that for the 2nd time around once more?

Hello, my brother joey is out of town, would you like to wait?

Don’t touch me not!

You! you’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!

Hello? For a while. Please hang yourself.

We are lovers. Not fighters.

Don’t judge me! I’m not a book!

Why should I have a calling card? I’m not a call girl!

My brother is not a girl; he’s a gentleman.

Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.

Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo…Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.

I won’t stoop down to my level.

Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?

I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival.

You! you’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!

On the lovelife of her brother Joey and Kris: “They should talk behind the scene…”

Still on her brother Joey: “Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.”

“Sumasakit ang migraine ko.”

On her father, the late Director Artemio Marquez before he died: “Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!”

When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right:”Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point.”

When asked for a message to her daughter who was reportedly abused by their houseboy: “Don’t worry little angel, big angel is here.”

On what they should do to the houseboy who molested her daughter: “He should be put behind bar.”

Backstage during a noontime show, after watching Nikki Valdez’ dance number. “Nikki, you’re so galing! You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes.”

“You can fool me once, you can even fool me twice, you can even fool me thrice. But you can never fool me four”

After giving birth, and an interview on The Buzz: “My answers have been prayered!”

“Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko…sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-PERSUAVE ng mga kwento niya? Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae…talaga lang malapit siya sa mga gulo…PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya eh.

Boy Abunda: O Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong magmo-Mormon ka na? Melanie: Ah okay lang ‘yon Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong SEMI-RETARDED.

 (before Christmas) “Well, I want to spend my holidays with my family most probably out of place.”

(While she’s in Morning Girls With Kris & Korina promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick) “Please watch HIRAM starring Aleck Baldwin (referring to Aleck Bovick) and myself. It’s DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara.”

(To ex-flame Senator Lito Lapid) “Hello…Huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh! (In response to being misunderstood) You know, huwag kang tumahol like dogs.”

Haha laugh trip lang muna.

 

 

Thanks to Witerary & Wikipedia for these quotes.
Thanks to : http://tagpuan.com/forums/ for the signs

30 thoughts on “Tawa naman dyan…

  1. Wahahahahaha! Aling baby, todo patawa! Nyahahah😀

    Yung ilan sa mga signs, nabasa ko kagabi sa isang libro ni Bob Ong. At talagang kahit second time ko na yun nabasa, natatawa parin ako😛

    Waaa… Wala talagang tatalo kay Ms. Melanie Marquez. Ewan ko ba… Reyna na ata yun😛 Sobrang natawa ako dun sa SEMI-RETARDED😛

    Salamat sa jokes, aling baby ^_^



    ako din tawang-tawa sa mga pinagsasabi ni ate melanie hehe..

  2. nakakatuwa nman ung name ng mga establishments…creative tlga mga pinoy…

    at sympre winner si melanie marquez…wahahahahaha



    minsan nga niisip ko kung sinasadya ba niya yan o normal lang haha, ayy ayoko siya i-judge kasi indi siya buk.🙂 salamat sa pagdaan.

  3. wahhhhh… hilarious sobra… mukha na akong baliw dito kakatawa habang nagbabasa lang. hehehe



    o diba panalo talaga si ateng melanie.🙂

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